Ries' Diary

Will love really conquers everything?

2011-07-02T10:11:00.002+08:00

Once upon a time, a little boy told a little girl,

believe in love, believe in me, you will not regret.

She loves him and made a decision to believe in love and in him.

Believing that love will overcome all odds as long as he is there with her,

together they will make it through the storms...

Yet today, little girl knows that no matter how hard she loves

or how much she don't want to let go,

it is because she loves him and don't want him to be caught in between,

don't wish to see him upset, she left the choice for him to choose.

Will love really conquers everything? It might, if you really love each other.

I do, but the question is do you?

Rumblings...

2011-06-19T03:48:00.003+08:00

我也只不过是个女人，

也很希望被爱的人疼，

被爱的人爱。

手牵着手，骄傲的走在大街上，

开心时，我们一起大笑，

伤心难过时，紧紧地抱着我，

落泪时，会帮我擦干眼泪。

不需要猜测，不需要过问，

也知道他是真心的爱着你。

两情相悦

2011-05-29T23:40:00.002+08:00

两情相悦

贵在情这个字。。。

两人若无情

勉强在一起也没意义

听过一句话

2011-05-01T00:29:00.000+08:00

"真爱就好像撞鬼,
相信的人很多,
但真正遇到的却很少"

Shock!!!

2011-04-21T00:46:00.001+08:00

Suddenly realized I've got not much friends to go out wif....

What the hell...

Sianz...

Results jus came but nvm... It does not matters anymore.

2011-04-11T22:09:00.002+08:00

At the end of the day, even if I managed to lose weight till the ideal 51kg, your mom will still not accept me. Will you stand by me then? I don even dare to think of the answer...

I'm not what u want...

2011-02-04T22:08:00.002+08:00

I'm not the one...

You are not even proud to be with me...

Its only sooner or later...

Time will tell you, then you will tell me...

I'm not the one... Sorry.

Happy Birthday Bicky Boi!

2011-01-19T22:21:00.001+08:00

Mummy misses you...

ARrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhh

2011-01-10T23:03:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I really hate both of you!!!

Both of the same kind...

Nothing but trouble...

Same kind of trouble...

This life no choice, I cant choose...

If there is next life, tolong har.... pls don ever let me see or knw the two of you again...

Super pek cek mood now...

Don't be a woman who needs a man but a woman a man needs.

2010-12-18T01:47:00.002+08:00

Don't be a woman who needs a man but a woman a man needs.

Very true but through the years I still haven been able to reach tat level... I doubt I ever will...

No title

2010-11-23T22:50:00.003+08:00

I avoided coming here... I wish I don't have to come here at times.

but where else can I go, who else can I speak to...

Actually I also have no idea what I wanna say... I just feel so hurt... But I don't know how to explain or say it anymore. Somehow try ba... Hope I can feel better after this post...

I'm not trying to snatch your friends. I don't know know much of them. I only know 2 and I only contact one. And even to them, I'm known as a friend.

I never insist to tag along, if you find my presence a hindrance, I can always not participate. Just don't ask me to go then...

Then don ask me why cannot go out as a group, why just us...

There are things that you can't share with me that you need to share with others? What am I to you then?

I never exclude you in my outings or gatherings if I have, as a matter of fact, I wish you be around but your intentions were clear. You didn't want to attend or you don't find a need.

I know I'm not good enough for you. I understand that very well, thats why I wanna improve further with studies to try to match up the difference.

No matter what I say its just what I feel and it does not matters anymore. I'm not even worth the effort for you to think of what to get for me for birthday even thou I've mentioned a lot of times what I need for my daily use but I didn't get. I don't even need it to be branded like LV or whatever. Never mind don't, no nid to get... Really...

Seems like whatever I do also not right... Too childish, don know how to think, you are probably wondering why are you with this shitty person in the first place.

Ok done but I still don't feel better... not a single bit... F*

I hate uncertainty

2010-10-28T22:38:00.004+08:00

Why relationships are complicated, confusing, and full of uncertainty?

I hate uncertainty. I need to know if it will last, if it will be good, what to do next, and what to expect... Simply hate this feeling...

My insecurities are forming through uncertainties... I know and understand that the future will reveal itself in its own time. But sometimes I just can't help it.

Read an article on dealing with uncertainty it says that the necessary skills for dealing with uncertainty are patience, living in the moment, slow-motion small decisions, not being attached to any particular outcome, gradually revealing your true feelings, and finding plenty of other distractions to keep your mind off the problem.

I will try to work on it but I'm not sure if I will be successful. well at least now I got exams to keep me distracted...

This is my life...

2010-10-24T05:40:00.008+08:00

生命里有太多时候要接受不能接受的事

I don't want to accept the fact, it kills me but I cannot ignore the fact that its killing you... ... ...

Pain

2010-09-20T23:24:00.001+08:00

nothing else to say... except Pain.

True Blood Season 3 Ep 8.

2010-08-15T02:05:00.003+08:00

Its been one long bloody fight,

And I keep waiting for it to be over,

For us to be happy, to start our lives together.

Like a normal couple.

But its never gonna happen for us, is it?

Cobra Bites Me Twice & I Died...

2010-07-23T20:51:00.005+08:00

Had a really bad nite last nite... Dreamt that I was bitten by a cobra twice on my wrist and arm and I died after a while. I woke up, went back to sleep and the dream repeats itself again... I dono how many times I woke up and went back to bed trying to sleep again.

But no matter how many times I dream of it, at the point of death, I felt relieved...

Some say that its a sign of rebirth, others says that its like you have overcome some issues in life... I dono... I have a mixed feeling about it.

I somehow feels good about me dying but I hate snake... Its not my first encounter with snakes in my dream but first time I'm bitten and killed by them.

I will try to be positve and take it as a sign of some areas of my life have transformed or I'm having a breakthrough somewhere somehow...

hmmm maybe I'm the winner or one of the winner for tonight's 8mil TOTO. *Keep Dreaming...*

I have a bad feeling

2010-07-22T00:45:00.002+08:00

I don think it can last...
Its too tough...
So why do I even wanna prolong?

Maybe bcos of a slight hope... I dono...
But it hurts...

Feeling more and more depress as days passes by...
Thoughts of dying constantly popping out in my mind...

Had a rush of adrenaline today when the thought came in.
I wonder when I will eventually lose it...

Not the rush...

My mind.

Right Time, Wrong Choice

2010-07-15T03:58:00.003+08:00

You deserve better... Tats prob what I might have told you. :)

I'm full with baggages...

Que Sera Sera

2010-07-14T22:49:00.004+08:00

When I was just a little girl I ask my mother what will I be?
Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me:

Que Sera Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future not ours to see,
Que Sera Sera

When I grew up and fell in love, I asked my sweetheart, what lies ahead?
Will there be rainbows? Day after day?
Here's what he said to me:

Que Sera Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future not ours to see,
Que Sera Sera

After sometime in life I came to know theres nothing in life you can predict.
Sometimes you'll be happy, sometimes just blue...
You learn to take life as it is...

One shall not be too hopeful in life...

It don change...

2010-07-12T02:16:00.004+08:00

Life still sucks... Even after trying to make it better

All I wish for... Simple Happiness

Never will or can happen... Shit happens, again and again

I don like roller coaster life full of shit... I wish to be like them too...

That leads me once again to feel that I rather not exist. But I cant.

Ries Fav Quote Revised

2010-07-08T01:52:00.004+08:00

"If you outgrew me, if you wanted more, if you find that I'm no longer the one for you. I promised I won't stand in your way if you wanted to leave me. I would understand that."

Virgin Jr. Competition June 2009

2009-07-09T12:03:00.003+08:00

Woke up super early for this.... Super duper tiring..... My lovely partner, Angeline aka FB Freak, My handsome coaches & my bosses attended this competition wif a group of cute & energetic juniors. Boss treat us to AMK Jack's for lunch after the event, had my fav soup and steak. Wahahaha

What a sinful day!

2009-02-23T00:44:00.008+08:00

Dear Diary,

FINALLY went to Marvelous Cream @ City Link to have my mixed berry cream. hahahhaha!!! Love it love it!!!!! Took pic of the server mixing my ice cream with the berries. I simply love berries!!!!!!!!! So happi!!

Oh ya before that went Waraku for dinner, shop at MS and after ice cream went Chomp Chomp for my "bloody hum hum" and "popiah" hahaha!

Haha eat so much!!!! Must be strict with my diet from now onwards le... But I had a fun day!!! :)

Ries

V Day 2009

2009-02-23T00:20:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

14th Feb 2009, Valentine's Day falls on a Sat and its my work day! Thank God! HAha cos I get to spend half a day with my "love ones" in office. We had gifts exchanged with one another. I started the ball rolling abt 1 1/2 wk b4 V day as I always view it as friendship day as well so got gifts for the 4 babes. We were saying nex year must have bf to celebrate with. hahaha We shall see if they have any luck through Tagged...

After work went to AMK meet up with my dear daughter Lin & Rio, went to my fav fast food Subway for lunch and then headed for movie. Lin left after the show then me & Rio continue to walk walk shop shop and dinner at the small S11. That ended the day.

My dear Lin, be strong and move on ya! You have our support and love! I knw it hurts, cry it out, vent it out but dont just stay put there, move on. You will get to know more friends and meet better guys. Study hard & enjoy life! I love ya! *hugs*

1st Pic : Group Pic with Jasmine's gift to us

2nd & 3rd Pic: Angeline's gift to me (Love the My Melody)

4th Pic: Kris' gift to me
5th Pic: Tiff's gift to me

Ries

CNY 2009

2009-02-22T23:56:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

This year CNY holiday was very short for me.... Off for 3 days, Chu San return back to work le. Apparently, most of my other friends also kenna the same fate, I'm not alone haha! Pic above taken from company reunion dinner, we went to The Line @ Shang. I find the food there so so... Think I prefer the international buffet at one of the hotel near Funan forgot the hotel name.

House visiting was kinda horrible this year as everyone was asking about "him". My reply was, which him? haha! Uncles and auntie chasing me to get married, some was saying don't be so choosy... (well they don knw, ppl dont wanna choose me, I also no choice rite?) at least I have my mum's support... Take my time slowly see don't rush... And as for my granny, she says.... "Don't get married better ah! Later married wrong guy you suffer!"

Oh ya besides my relatives, visited Richards's place with Rio. End up play MJ, how can I miss out MJ during CNY! I won $3 bucks I think... haha

Ries

Ries & The Small White Balls

2009-02-22T22:50:00.008+08:00

Dear Diary,

I simply cannot help but wonder how men and women can make millions of pounds playing a game that looks so simple on TV. Honestly, who can't hit a ball into a hole with 4 or 5 tries? But when I first got my hands onto the club about 2 years back with Jonathan on east coast driving range, I must confess.... its not as easy as it looks on the screen. I missed most of my shots and its with his encouragements that I eventually managed to hit one or two not too bad ones. That was my first encounter with the small white balls.

I joined a golf academy this year as a marketing staff and that brought the reunion of me and the small white balls. I got to understand more about golf and I gradually fell in love with it. Since I'm working at a golf course, I decided to make full use of it. Bought my first pair of glove and started to hit the balls together with my workmates. As and when some of our coaches will come by drop a a tip or two when they have no students. :)

As I learn, I got to realised that golf cultivates your patience, focus and determination. Suits me... haha! But my ankle problem is back again aft helping out to shift our training room so I have to stop for a while... I will continue once my ankle gets better. Hopefully I can get my PC soon! Cant wait to head to the GREENS!!!!!

Ries

Whatever

2009-01-11T02:53:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Tired week at work... But somehow getting the hang of it. :) I don't quite care if anyone likes or don't like my entries. Its my virtual diary. A place for me to vent my frustrations or share my happiness if I have... If you don't like what i write you can stop viewing my blog.

"If you outgrew me, if you wanted something more. I would understand that. I promised I wouldn’t stand in your way if you wanted to leave me."

Sad with someone's remark last week in regards to the posts not J. I jus wanna let it out and feel better. Can't i even do that? Or you rather see me getting more depressed as the days pass me by? Oh ya you won't understand, you can't... As I said that was meant to close the chapter and move on.

Anyway received sms from JS, end up having a conversation with him at night. He was kinda drunk.... Must you drink when you are not happy? Heard with my own ear from you that actually the day after we broke off you and her got together. My gosh I wish I didnt know haha but anyway it does not matters anymore... But still thank you for telling the truth. Treat her well and all the best.

Thought I would feel damm jia lat during or after the call but nope I didnt. Guess I'm much better le. :) Maybe due to more work load keep my mind off things and company of friends keeping me busy. Oh ya and the "shuai" customers I get to see from time to time... hahahha Everyday like not enough sleep haha! OK time to play my CO again...

Ries

Follow Up on my previous entry

2009-01-04T18:44:00.005+08:00

Dear Dairy,

After reading through Jane's blog, going through things he told me when they were together, I felt sad. The things that he has done when he was with her without her knowing. The sad thing is I only jus got to see her blog recently in Jan '09.

I met a monster, fell in love with him, accepting him as he is, loving him regardless of what he told me he has done in his past. He gradually became the Mr Big in my life. I stood by him, encouraged him, I didnt give us up. The diff between SATC story plot and mine, Mr Big of mine does not even have the courage to make things right when he realized he has wronged. He may blog about it to declare to the whole whole he is sorry to gain sympathy so that he can move on to his new chapter of relationship. Mr Big in show was much better, he had failed in his marriage, he is scared, things got out of hand, he ran away but when he realized what he had done, he tried to make things better. In twilight, Edward left in book 2 in oder to protect Bella but returned when he realized he was not doing any good to both of them. You were not my Mr Big neither were you my Edward... Never ever mentioned again to any other girls that you are like Mr Big, "You've got it" cos you really don''t.

Your bestfriend don't even know of me, how could that even hapeen when you claimed to have spoke to her about me. Told me you were grounded by your dad and even when you get a job, you have to head back home after work. Then how come my friends saw you outside with another woman, how much you could meet up your ex flings or even go out so often now? You jus wanted to get rid of me...

Do you know that I don't even know why we ended our relationship. You never did explain why you choose to throw the towel first. Because you wanted me to be happier? As you could not provide commitment or you fear of letting me down? Then why the hell are you in another relationship again? I realized how little I actually mean to you.

You lied, cheated, stole my heart and I wish I could hate you for that but I cant. Foolish me or Sillygirl like you always said. Now you are using it on her right?

I can fully understand now why when we first got together you warn me of getting msgs from ur ex gfs or flings and asked about my reactions if I received them. You know, seriously I was contemplating to do it to her or not. Tell her what a jerk you could be. After much debating within myself, the angel won and so I won't. Hopefully you will really hold on to your promises to her. All the best to your new relationship.

Jane said you will understand if you put yourself in her shoes, you mentioned in your blog singing Jay's song you understood. But I really doubt it, you can never ever really understand the shit I'm going through.

Closing the chapter and moving on in my life. Its tough but I have to push myself to...

Work, go out, tired myself out and then sleep. Thats my life now. Pretty normal, I guess.

Ries

Jane & RET

2009-01-02T04:25:00.009+08:00

Jane~ "What did i do wrong? Do i deserve this kinda treatment right now? I understand that u are going thru a tough time right now. All i wanna do is be there for u as a gf, and yet u choose to shut me out totally! What must i do to get ur attention? Must i get myself landed in the hospital before u care. Or probably u dun even care. i really dun wanna add anymore burden to u during this period. I just wanna lend u a shoulder like how you would lend it to me. perhaps im really dispensable in ur life. U promised to nv make me cry, and yet i have crying all day bcos i'm worried bout u. and the crying gets worse when u are totally ignoring me, like i nv exist. i'm jus another useless gf."

RET~ Everyone is dispensable to him except for himself. His promises made were meant to be broken.

Jane~ "Silly it may sound, but i leave him smses everyday even tho he doesnt reply at all. i was hoping he replied at least a take care when i told him i wasn't feeling well last nite. Nothing... nothing came in. nothing at all. so here i am cryin, worsening my fever. I love to cry! for its the only way i let out my frustration. I rather exchange my emotional pain to physical pain, really. for now, I have to carry on pretending to the whole family that i'm alright."

RET~ His concerns for himself is far too big for him to see that besides himself others are suffering too.

Jane~ "All i need is just 3 words to let me know you are still mine, as easy as " i love u". Yet i got an sms, with 3 words that end everything: "lets break up". I know how tough things is going on with u, all i wanna do is be there for u as a gf. U are not the only one tearing. U are nt the only one hiding in the toilet tearing. I love u and i totally respect ur decision. No matter how hard i try to tell u im there for u, u never comes to me. All i can do now is think bout all those future plans that we have made. for once, things was still sweet afterall. i duno how long im gonna take to bring myself up again. im too tired."

RET~ Running away from his promises when the road gets tough without noticing that the one fighting to walk the path besides him is already wounded badly by him. Very him indeed...

Jane~ "Sometimes things are easier to be said than done. i ended up crying the whole nite til my eyes are sore and swollen like a GOLDFISH now! thats the only healthy way i can let it out. thanks to those who offered to take me out for a breather, to those who give me endless encouragement, to those who lend me a shoulder to cry on and of cos to my babes who are always there for me. it's gonna be a tough war between me and our memories, tho it was just 3 short months of memories. JIA YOU to you for your work, to your dad's health and to ur nx one[which im very sure u have no lack of)"

RET~ Yes I'm sure he has no lack of... Recently he is happily attached again shortly after his last broke off...

Jane~ "U think that its the right choice because u think that i will be happier. Put urself into my shoes now, u will know how terrible it is. I'm not an unreasonable person, with the kind of issues that is going on in ur life. I'm more than willing to put our relationship on hold if we have talked it out. Nothing that i say is important now, caused u have left. and left a scar that will never heal. Nobody knows what you are thinkin, you know it best."

RET~ The easiest way out for him is to dump away all kinds of commitment. So he can jus concentrate on himself. Then when he feels better, he will jus move on to prey again, work his same old moves again and repeating his steps all over again. To you, to me, to the new her maybe... I hope not.

Above was taken from Jane's blog Not her true identity. I wanted to write something about my last relationship and came across hers. 80% of what I wanted to say was posted out by her months back in 2008 when she was with him.

Good Bye 2008 Hello to 2009

2009-01-01T16:53:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday afternoon, still deciding to go out or to stay home end up in the evening I agreed to go to a countdown event at Yuhua CC at the same time to know a new HK lady, Irene. Very nice lady, thou I cant really speak canto but I can understand them, not so chim ones thou. :D She speaks a bit of mandrian as well so not too much of prob there. Mus brush up my canto b4 I fly over to find her in 2009 for shopping and my fave SMELLY TOUFU.

From the faces there, you can see that they are happily waiting to count down to 2009. I tried to joined in and feel happy but seems so hard. Apparently, I have been trying hard to keep myself from tearing the whole time. Year 2008 ended with a slightly better note all thanks to my new work friends fun & helpful bunch of girls but over all it was still a sad year for me.

Thanks to all my dear friends that kept me going when I was at my lowest. Esp people like
My bro WX & dearest pal Yan who knows when I emo too much slaps the hell out of me. Thank you for the time you guys spent with me, helping me go thru it...
Supporting friends like Jeff, Alvin, Axl and QuiBing who encourages and lift my sprirts up when I needed.
Ian & Ivan for your advise when I needed point of view from guys' side. Appreciate your advises.
My dearest Cousin Cas, at this point of time looking out for suitable candidates for me. hahaha Thanks for your tips!

I love you all!!! ok cannot continue le gotto go meet my HK friend Irene for dinner. After dinner I will come back and write on something that I have been pushing away to write.

Ries

Xmas Eve 2008

2009-01-01T16:14:00.006+08:00

Dear Diary,

I had planned to rot at home to play CO since I didnt plan anything except for unless my boss and Jeff really wanna play Mahjong... Seriously I jus didnt have the mood to do anything...

How ironic it is when i recalled how much I was looking forward for Xmas when I simply dread it this year. No, I shd say I kinda dread festive sessions nowadays. The only perk it gives, when a rest day from office.

Anyway back to xmas eve, well last min there were so called changes to Yan's xmas celebration and asked me to plan something. Thus I did a fast and simple one, steamboat at AMK and after that prob movie or mahjong. Invited Toh & his cute gf, DJ Moo Moo & Liang but Liang didnt make it. Had fun during the steamboat, see the video below. Pics are with Yan, haven gotten them all transferred over (lazy me). But its in his facebook http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/album.php?aid=2013163&id=1019927671

The cute couple left after steamboat leaving the three cranky ones to catch movie, gosh 115am show... haha by the time we finished steamboat, it was only ard 10pm. So we went to play game, no no Yan play game we watch. Following that, we went to play pool. The counter fella seems to know I got prob whith long tables so told me straight, I got the smaller table one, you wanna take, no need to wait? The place was full and had waiting list. I didnt wanna wait... So grab la. Yan won 2 rounds and me 2 rounds too so fair fair.... So went for movie aft that, Beadtime Story, nice... Oh last part ended with a "SupperBreakfast" @ Mac before heading home. Such a sinful day. LOL

Lastly, Thank you Yan for the xmas gift and Rei for helping him to shop for one. Love it. :)

Ries

My Birthday Gifts

2009-01-01T15:52:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

Top Pic: Gift from Bro Wenxian

2nd Pic: Gift from Ian

3rd Pic: Gift from Jem, Ben & Colin

4th Pic: Gift from AC

Putting up pics of the gifts I received from my dear ones. I wanna say a big thank you to all who remembered my birthday, I really appreciate the wishes and gifts. Especially a dear frd of mine who accompanied me on a short "get-away" trip after my birthday as I was feeling rather down.

This year I didnt really have a Happy Birthday. I thought I could have one but it didnt turn out to be so. I was caught up in the mess of my r/s problem...

You said that you will plan for me, you wont let me feel lonely, you will invite lots of frds to celebrate the occasion with me.... Asking me to trust you and yet you only managed to sms "Happy Birthday." Even my pri sch gf does better "Dear, happy birthday!" See the diff?

This year, I didnt have cake, steamboat, ktv session, bbq, chalet, nothing much actually. On the day itself, I went to meet Bro Wenxian for a show and a simple dinner at marina sq food court. Thanks bro! At least I didnt stay at home and jus sleep it through haha!

Ries

P.S. Very touched when my mum sms me Happy Birthday (she don really know how to use her phone) and when my dad called to jus tell me Happy Birthday. I love you both so much!

Fun But Tired Day

2008-12-27T22:14:00.008+08:00

Dear Diary,

Recent went back to play Conquer Online again. Above is a SS of all my characters. YiYi is a trojan melee character, Yi-Yi is my archer, XiaNing my ninja and lastly Miaka a water tao. Curently using XiaNing my ninja more cos I need to lvl her up and Yi Yi for PKing. Kekeke

Got to know 2 more friends in the game, TroPot & WinkieStars. Above Pic taken wif ShuiJing (Yan's character), Winkie & my character. Revamp my guild now call Enforcer@Ares. Ares = for God of War. Upon return my guild enemy 2 other guilds hahahaha. Kill Kill Kill no la they bully us first de. :(

Wah today play Mah Jong with Yan, Dawn, Ben & Yan's dad tired tired sia win $20. hehe Oh ya and we went Hougang there eat the famous western food but I didnt take that I bought jap food instead, hmm not nice..... :( Never mind end up bought my fav Nai Huang Bao from the kopitian next door. :D

Faintz 3.30am le... hahaha go bk CO play game.

P.S those who not sure wat game i playing see the following link http://co.91.com/index/

Ries

My 1st Entry

2008-12-26T06:55:00.001+08:00

Dear Diary,

OMG 7am!!! I'm such a IT idiot, took a long time to create everything... ok time for some reading and then head to bed.

Ries